L'Argent’s Neighborhood

So, I've been using my Typepad account instead of VOX, and whenever I come back over this way I have shit loads of spam comments to delete. Surely, VOX, if you delete a spam account, it should automatically delete all of the spam comments they've left as well?

This week I have foolish offered to babysit my nephews whilst my brother honeymoons with his new wife. Yep, that's right, whilst they sun themselves in the Dominican Republic without a care in the world I have managed to lumber myself with two young boys for an entire week! I am only one day in and although I am exhausted (feels like midnight and it's not quite half 10) it has proved quite an interesting insight in to their minds.

We have already discussed Jesus (the eldest explains, "I don't believe in him, but I do believe in his friends"), Hollyoaks, fashion ("why are you wearing those leggings?"), football and now Michael Jackson. In fact, we have discussed the late King of Pop at quite some length as both boys have realised they are fans of his work (such band wagoneers). This means that no car journey passes without the sounds of Thriller filling my ears.

This evening, the eldest found a gossip magazine lying around which offered "Photos of Michael Jackson's secret family". As I was not paying attention initially, I was lead to believe that this was photos of Paris and blanket who were famously covered up for much of their lives. This resulted in many questions about why they were hid away which is quite difficult to answer when I do not know myself.

It turns out that these were actually photos of Michael's "secret" son who Joe Jackson has proclaimed was the result of a one night stand. This is a difficult idea to explain to an 8 year old as the very idea of a one night stand seems quite obscene. Next, I am asked why the singer looks so sad in photos. Without even thinking I reply, "Well he said he often felt quite lonely". My nephews face looks both confused and sad so I try and pull it back, "When you're famous – it's difficult to be friends with people who are not famous."

His face is still not convinced. I want to explain that people are money grabbers, but feel this conversation is a bit too deep for such a young, innocent boy. I manage to steer the conversation away by pointing out some of the photos and then I am asked about his skin changing issues. Geez, I feel like I should have been issued with guidance. How am I sposed to explain such a controversial man to such a young boy?

"Err, he had an illness that affected his skin and he had quite a big nose that he didn't like very much. His Dad used to make fun of him..." This seems to upset him slightly, and he states, "but he looks like a woman?" I can't argue with that. As if to demonstrate his point he turns the page and points at Megan Fox (an innocent victim), "She looks like Michael Jackson!"